Friday Night at the Pier

The pier is Megan’s and my hangout spot. Dad comes along sometimes, but he is not as much of a nature lover like Megan and me. A few times we have been able to go early in the morning. The air feels different early in the morning, and it’s so refreshing and a great way to start the day. 

I’ve learned that it’s best to take the stroller along. When she first started walking, she was okay with holding my hand and letting me lead the way. Now that she’s gone through some growth spurts, she’s become so much more independent and adventurous.

Just being out isn’t enough for her anymore. She wants to truly interact with the environment and her surroundings. One morning when we went to the pier, she kept pulling her hand away from mine, and she’d take off running away from me. We’d go to the beach area and she really thought it was okay to just walk straight into the Bay.

If you see a tiny 5’2″ mama with a pink polka dot diaper bag chasing a gorgeous little 1-year-old….that would be Megan and me. 🙂 Sometimes I’m like, “I have become one of those parents I used to always look at and say–“Woops, their baby is wilding out.” LOL.

We both really have a great time though. And so many people are always smiling and speaking to her, no matter where we go, she brings  smiles to so many people’s faces.

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Friday night at the pier was smooth sailing. A great outing.

I usually don’t carry my DSLR with me anymore. It’s just too big and gets in the way now that I have so much mommy and baby stuff to do. I debated whether I should take it and said, “Well you never know when it comes to nature, there may be some good shots to take.”

It’s always a lot of people fishing and they take it seriously; boy I tell they concentrate hard, lol. But I’ve never seen so many people, about 25, gathered in one spot and looking in the water.

So I thought I’d just stand and look too. I was trying to see who looked kind enough for me to ask what’s going on, but then I saw this scene:

Nature Photo at Pier

And this one:

Pier Nature Photo

I later found out that everyone was looking at a man standing on the rocks fishing. He had been struggling with a fish for quite a while. Someone told me that when it takes that long to pull in a fish, it means it’s a big fish and people have to tire the fish out  in order to pull it in.

I don’t know anything about fishing, but learned something that night. Sure enough he pulled out a fish about as long as a toddler. Everybody started clapping, and Megan was ready to continue her breezy Friday night stroller ride. 

A Mother’s Spirit

A Mother's Love by Kolonji

I’m realizing I had a void in my life before becoming a mom and that’s partly why I was so drawn to working with kids. Now, I’m like a different person when it comes to other people’s kids. I’m somewhat selfish now, in the sense that I realize how micro my time and life is, and I want all my nurturing and patience to go to my kids/family kids.

That’s actually why I knew it was time to try and have my own, because I kept getting heartbroken and sickened with stress from other people’s abused, neglected, traumatized kids that came into my life. I remember being pregnant and still crying over all these kids I couldn’t help. I always wondered why I would cross paths with such hurting and suffering children, yet I wouldn’t be able to help them out of their situation. It felt like torture, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to have my own child if I didn’t step back for a while.

Now that I have my own little angel, I’m like, wow, I owe everything to her. I can’t let other parents’ mistakes tear me down and I bring that home to my child. I don’t see how youth workers and teachers with their own children not bring that stuff home. I accept the fact that I have a very obsessive, high strung personality and if it’s anything I can’t solve or conquer it runs me crazy(er) and eats me alive. I don’t see how teachers/counselors/youth workers of troubled children turn it all off when it’s time to deal with their own kids.

I’m finally so at peace. I don’t feel like I failed all those other kids in past. The group of 5th grade, inner city, troubled students where I had to quit, though I loved them (probably too much), since having my own child I no longer feel like I failed them or any other kids I couldn’t help. I must have tried so hard, too hard, because I had a void because I wasn’t a mom. It’s amazing how you can look back and put the pieces of the puzzle together. I would like to use my love for education in a different way, not just with kids. I actually enjoyed working with elderly people, to my surprise. I learned so much about living life, growing old, and death.
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Art Credit: I believe it is called “A Mother’s Love by Kolonji.”
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